Before I dive into the events of the day my daughter graced this earth, I must go back at least three years before her arrival when I decided to become a mother. I was twenty-seven, and planning was my way to combat anxious feelings as somebody who suffered from anxiety. Planning gives me the sense that I am in control. It allows me to function. So I planned and executed the tactical events that would lead me to become a mother.
I started exercising regularly, eating well, and getting my wellness checkups and blood work done. I organized my finances and prepared our home. I started reading about parenting, pregnancy, and birth stories. I became pregnant with my daughter in the Spring of 2018. It was the most joyous day when the nurse confirmed the test positive. My husband, who was my fiancé at the time, and I read and watched videos about birthing methods. I knew I wanted a midwife.
We found out that Touro Hospital offered a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) staff. We toured the hospital birthing unit with the Chief Labor and Delivery Nurse. We felt at peace right away that it was the next best option. My first preference was home birth, however, because it was my first child, I didn't want to risk either one of our lives in case of complications. I thought it was best to deliver in the birthing center at the hospital.